Jami's Parenting Strategy: Taking 4 children in a public place

 This is for Lori & Dawn:

Here's what I did yesterday... (this was after bad Momma had lost her temper and her cool and everything she ever possessed and still had to go to the chiropractor, Pick N Save & Wal-Mart).... Okay I had all 4 with me cuz John's working at his second job at this point. I was WEARY and completely spent. We had to go to the chiropractor and due to violence, meltdowns, and temper tantrums (theirs not mine....I PROMISE!) The kids had ABSOLUTELY no tv time or video game time left for the day. Soooooooo..... before the chiropractor I devised the following scheme:

I am giving you 3 pennies. When we go into the chriopractor, you need to obey, talk quietly, and act appropriately at all times. You also need to keep track of your 3 pennies. Each time I have to remind you to behave you have to give me a penny. Everyone who leaves the chiropractor with 3 pennies gets a candy bar when we go to Pick N Save. Anyone who loses all 3 pennies will get a spanking. [at this point the question was asked: "What if we lose a penny?" the answer was if you lose a penny you do NOT get the tv time. This is not just about behaving it is about being responsible for what you've been given].

So we enter the chiropractor's office and they are all acting uncharacteristically good so Jeremiah asks me loudly: "Mom aren't you proud of us? We're all acting like normal human beings." Yups... my words don't sound nearly as great when they are coming out of my child's mouth. I could just hear myself muttering under my breath, ".....can't even act like normal human beings!" Whatevs... We left the chiropractor's office with all 3 boys earning a candy bar (Hannah wasn't really in the deal because yesterday she had a stomach bug and because she's way to young for it anyways).

So anyways on to Pick N Save.... this time I promised them 2 (yes I said 2!) hours of tv time. Since they had all lost ALL their tv time they were quite excited by this prospect. We get there and the Kids Corner is closed :( So I put them all 3 up against the wall just outside the Kids Corner and I say guess what? Now this is going to be even harder because instead of playing in the Kids Corner while I shop and just having to behave into and out of the store, you have to behave the ENTIRE time as we shop. Do you think you can do that? [nods from all] I think you can do it so let's go!

Well let's just say the results were not as amazing at Pick N Save as at the chiropractor. Only Noah earned the TV time.

Finally we headed home, had dinner, took dinner to daddy and then headed to Wal-Mart. Individual rewards this time: Noah....lost privileges returned; J & E - 1 hour tv time. Noah left Wal-Mart with 3 pennies. No one else did.

Well the system (or game some might say) was not foolproof but it really did help them behave better and me not completely lose my sanity trying to get them to behave "like normal human beings." And we lived through the experience too....