An ode to my amazing husband....

 First a tiny little marriage moment for everyone: In the Love Dare, it talks about how your heart has two rooms for your spouse

1. the appreciation room: the place where you store all the great, loving, romantic things your spouse has done... such as remembering your birthday, bringing you flowers just because, taking care of you when you were sick

2. the depreciation room: the place where you store the memories of the icky things they have done... forgeting a special anniversary, hateful words said in the heat of an argument, etc...

The book encourages spouses to flee the depreciation room whenever they find themselves in there rehashing all the horrible things ever done and to spend as much time in the appreciation room as possible.

So this morning I found myself standing in the appreciation room admiring many things about my husband, and I thought.... "hmmm...I should proclaim some of these things from the mountain top... what an awesome way to let my husband know all the great things I'm thinking about him then to post them for all of creation to read." So here goes.....

This morning my husband arose at 6:15 a.m. He is a bit under the weather and is fighting off some sort of bug, but still he dragged himself into his work clothes and departed the house only a few minutes late to head off to job number one. He will work his full shift there and then draf himself off to job number two to work another eight hour shift. During the weeks that he feels healthy, he usually makes it until about Wednesday before feeling as if he can't wait until the weekend, but this week he is already there. But still on he goes trudging off to work to provide for his family in spite of how grueling it is.

I have a hard time explaining how incredibly loved this makes me feel. He is exhausted. He misses us. He gets absolutely NO down time during the week and only 5 hours of sleep each weeknight, and he willingly does all of this because he loves us. It is a rare thing to be loved so extravagantly. I am so proud of him and so grateful that my children have a father who is modeling for them responsibility and a strong work ethic.

Sooooo I just came up with an idea.... it is a challenge to everyone on my facebook list who has a spouse.... you know those 25 things lists circulating.... I challenge you to do this: make a list of 25 things about your spouse that you appreciate.... post it here on facebook for all to read... tag your spouse and a bunch of your friends who have spouses.... if you get tagged DO IT! I bet it will make your spouses day!


25 things I appreciate about John J. Kastner
1. he is the hardest working man I have ever in my life known
2. no matter how destitute we are, he will still give the shirt off his back to help someone else out
3. he loves Jesus with all of his heart, soul, mind and body
4. he loves me so extravagantly....if he has only $10 left for 2 weeks and I want chips & salsa, he will go and spend that last $10 on me without even batting an eye
5. he is fiercely loyal
6. he loves his children and will do anything for them
7. he is very straightforward...you ALWAYS know exactly where you stand with him
8. inspite of the crusty exterior shell, he is nothing but a big softy underneath
9. he relates VERY well to teenagers....loving them no matter what their faults and holding them accountable no matter how difficult that might be
10. he is a big child always playing, joking, and having fun
11. he shouts AMEN in church when the sermon is good even though right now our church is ridiculously quiet and passive... he doesn't care if it speaks to him, if it deserves an AMEN he's gonna shout it no matter how dead and quiet the sanctuary is
12. he dreams BIG dreams and believes GREAT things of God (and me)
13. he thinks I'm HOT even though one can hardly find the normal person I used to be inside this fat girl body
14. he could beat the crap out of anyone he came in contact with....this makes me feel VERY safe...
15. he is really HOT (for his age...right Amanda?)
16. he pays attention to the little comments I make and then turns those into nice things to do for me....if I say hmmm I've always LOVED Faith Hill.... before I know it he'll surprise me with her new CD.
17. he is my ROCK in times of chaos.... when the kids split their head open or knock a tooth crooked.... he is ever calm and he knows IMMEDIATELY if we should rush to the hospital or take care of it ourselves
18. he is tough, tough, tough but not afraid to be sensitive too
19. he puts up with all my crazy fears and worries
20. he is FIERCLY jealous....that makes me feel valuable to him
21. he sacrificed his truck and his car in order to cut costs
22. he ALWAYS wears socks.... I just think this quirky thing is adorable
23. he "cleans up" real nice
24. he is an AWESOME griller....everything he puts on our Weber is DELECTABLE!
25. he is teaching our boys to be gentlemen (I don't care if this ticks off any feminists out there.... I LOVE it!)

P.S. to this afternoon's note...

 Warning: composing this on my Blackberry not sure how great that is gonna work.

Ok the following is a true story... I swear to tell the truth so help me God!

So almost immediately after typing that Malcolm in the Middle note, I got up to go change cuz we were leaving the house for the first time since Sunday. So I had just finished putting my hair up and Noah comes racing up the stairs... "Elijah shattered one of the windows in the front door!". I kick off my shoes and FLY down the stairs: worried... Is he bleeding? Will someone else soon be bleeding? It is below zero and we have a 12" hole in our front door? Angry... Seriously how many more things can this child destroy??? DON'T ANSWER THAT!!! And a little bit amused... Already the irony of my first note being so rapidly succeeded by this occurrence was starting to hit me.

Sure enough one of the 9" x 12" panes of glass in our front door was shattered. I started barking out orders: I need the broom! Don't forget the dustpan! Someone call daddy and ask if I should cover it with cardboard or plastic! DON'T STEP OVER THERE!!! And do NOT take off your shoes!

Well while cleaning it up I extracted the whole story. The little windows on our front door are iced over from the arctic weather. Noah was chipping away at the ice with a screwdriver when Eli took the screwdriver and said, "I know! Do it like this!" He then proceeded to stab the window cracking the ice and shattering the window beneath.

I just couldn't help but chuckle as I thought to myself, "These are the best days of your life Jami."

I didn't let my laughter keep me from cleaning up. Although I did stop for a moment to remind Elijah that when he is an adult with a real job, his entire first year of salary is ALL mine. Yups yups.

the BEST Malcolm in the Middle EVER

 (note: I would like Lori Gillis Brady to comment and tell me: do you relate to Malcolm in the Middle at all, because I TOTALLY do! laugh and cry till I nearly pee my pants all the TIME! Oh and Krystal Gabert... not sure if you'll be able to tolerate reading this because my thoughts are flying so fast from my brain that I cannot AT ALL promise to use appropriate punctuation!)

Kay so I just finished watching the BEST Malcolm in the Middle EVER! Hal and Lois are trying to work on their will... it is HILLARIOUS! It's a clip show where they just continually flashback and I was seriously peeing my pants laughing. Now some of you normal parents with just a couple of kids or a boy and a girl or even MANY girls... you're sitting there thinking Malcolm in the Middle? She realtes to Malcolm in the Middle? Seriously? But anyone out there (c'mon Lori AGREE with me) who has 3 or more boys KNOWS that this tv show is so much more reality than fiction.... so anyways they are flashing back to how bad there finances are, how they have no one to whom they could leave their kids and on and on.... eventually they end up in the kitchen bawling...."we are terrible parents" they lament.... Hal says something like, "What idiot in Washington thought it was a good idea to allow US to be parents?!?!" At this point I am laughing so hard I am about to pee my pants.... John and I have been through those moments... those "what in the world were we thinking we were not at all equipped to handle one child much less four (in all actuality seven)" moments.... so I'm laughing so hard I'm about to pee and then they throw me the sucker punch.... you hear a loud thump and then Dewey is screaming, "My head! My head! I hurt my head!" He comes running out of his bedroom clutching his head and Hal and Lois just snap into action (proving how stupid there lamenting was)... Lois comforts and distracts... Hal tosses her an ice pack and the phone running for Dewey's stuffed animal.... in the middle of this they start discussing which emergency room is closer most available best.... Lois dials the pediatrician's number from memory... Hal whisks Dewey towards the door... Dewey says, "Can I have an apple juice box?".... Lois goes to the fridge and says, "We only have apple cherry." Hal replies, "Of course we only have apple cherry." And Lois closes with, "We are the worst parents EVER." And I am just bawling because the irony of those words uttered just after they snapped into action like a well-oiled machine capably handling the emergency is NOT lost on me!

I LOVE the message of this episode! It was SCREAMING at me: You look at things and you judge whether you (or others) are good parents based upon how neat the house is, how obedient the children are, the grades on the report cards, the lack of detentions and the abundance of trophies.... but in reality here's what makes you a good parent: LOVING your children... loving them like no one else can.... in the midst of small objects shoved up nostrils, sticks of butter being ejected from the DVD player, stitches, calls to poison control, and broken bones... do NOT think you are a bad parent... realize God chose you to be this child's parent.... realize NO ONE on this earth loves your children like you love your children.... and hang onto the fact that before you know it these rowdy, crazy, needy children will be driving away to hang with their friends and practice with the team and go to youth group.... before you know it you will LONG for the poverty and sleep deprivation of these days because you will finally realize what EVERYONE has been telling you, "THESE ARE THE BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE!!!"

Okay so in closing I never ever watched Malcom in the Middle when it was on prime time... a few months ago John started watching reruns of it, and before you knew it I was IN LOVE with this show... every time I watch it I relate to it somehow... I told all the kids in my youth group, "I dare you to watch this show and not think of the Kastners." So if you have never watched it... you should give it a try. (and then if you do watch it, I dare you to NOT think of the Kastners.) And if you are the mother of small children and today you are feeling inadequate to parent the children given to you take heart! As my wise momma says, "You are not raising successful children; you are raising successful adults."

Hope this made you think a little or at least laugh a little.... have a GREAT day.

Jami's Parenting Strategy: Taking 4 children in a public place

 This is for Lori & Dawn:

Here's what I did yesterday... (this was after bad Momma had lost her temper and her cool and everything she ever possessed and still had to go to the chiropractor, Pick N Save & Wal-Mart).... Okay I had all 4 with me cuz John's working at his second job at this point. I was WEARY and completely spent. We had to go to the chiropractor and due to violence, meltdowns, and temper tantrums (theirs not mine....I PROMISE!) The kids had ABSOLUTELY no tv time or video game time left for the day. Soooooooo..... before the chiropractor I devised the following scheme:

I am giving you 3 pennies. When we go into the chriopractor, you need to obey, talk quietly, and act appropriately at all times. You also need to keep track of your 3 pennies. Each time I have to remind you to behave you have to give me a penny. Everyone who leaves the chiropractor with 3 pennies gets a candy bar when we go to Pick N Save. Anyone who loses all 3 pennies will get a spanking. [at this point the question was asked: "What if we lose a penny?" the answer was if you lose a penny you do NOT get the tv time. This is not just about behaving it is about being responsible for what you've been given].

So we enter the chiropractor's office and they are all acting uncharacteristically good so Jeremiah asks me loudly: "Mom aren't you proud of us? We're all acting like normal human beings." Yups... my words don't sound nearly as great when they are coming out of my child's mouth. I could just hear myself muttering under my breath, ".....can't even act like normal human beings!" Whatevs... We left the chiropractor's office with all 3 boys earning a candy bar (Hannah wasn't really in the deal because yesterday she had a stomach bug and because she's way to young for it anyways).

So anyways on to Pick N Save.... this time I promised them 2 (yes I said 2!) hours of tv time. Since they had all lost ALL their tv time they were quite excited by this prospect. We get there and the Kids Corner is closed :( So I put them all 3 up against the wall just outside the Kids Corner and I say guess what? Now this is going to be even harder because instead of playing in the Kids Corner while I shop and just having to behave into and out of the store, you have to behave the ENTIRE time as we shop. Do you think you can do that? [nods from all] I think you can do it so let's go!

Well let's just say the results were not as amazing at Pick N Save as at the chiropractor. Only Noah earned the TV time.

Finally we headed home, had dinner, took dinner to daddy and then headed to Wal-Mart. Individual rewards this time: Noah....lost privileges returned; J & E - 1 hour tv time. Noah left Wal-Mart with 3 pennies. No one else did.

Well the system (or game some might say) was not foolproof but it really did help them behave better and me not completely lose my sanity trying to get them to behave "like normal human beings." And we lived through the experience too....